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survey! thanks kaylin! [Jan. 23rd, 2008|08:28 pm]
yes please.

who was the last person you:

Commented? myspace? jozy. facebook? uhhh dunno. livejournal? brett i think
Messaged? uhhhh sam skank!
Instant messaged? probably brett martin withers
Text messaged? david? i don't remember.
Yelled at? i don't know. this survey is making me tired.

Are you:
Ticklish? violently
Bilingual? eh, no
Irish? not at all
Hungry? not at all
Bored? no. just excited that i have nothing i need to do...except run, which i didn't do today.. oh well.

What is the first thing you thought this morning?
i got nine hours of sleep!

Is the person you like older or younger than you?
older by 5 months

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
WELLLLLLL... i don't like to say that i am in a relationship right now. but i am currently mutually exclusively involvd with someone. and i really hope that it's still going on three months from now.

What song are you listening to?
haha. can you handle it by usher.

How's your heart lately?
all is full of love

What were you doing this morning at 7 am?
sleeping like a normal person

What were you doing this afternoon at 2 p.m.?
i had just gotten out of class and was biking home

How much money do you make?
none currently.

Are you okay?
yeah! pretty pissed i didn't run today though. and there was absolutely no reason for it.

What was the reason you last cried?
explosion of emotions. mainly i missed my mom and was stressing out and bleeding vaginally.

What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
juno! do me.

How did you meet the 2nd person on your myspace?
i don't even know who the second person on my myspace is.

How old are they?
uh don't know.

How many red lights have you ran?
several. i got pulled over for it two nights ago. go. me.

Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
i think i've tried, because it occurred to me how poetic and tragic and angsty and beautiful that would be. but i don't think i could squeeze one out. or if i did i didn't notice cause i already had hot water running down my face.

Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
if i have, it obviously didn't have that big of an effect on me cause i don't remember it. la la la.

When was the last time you were given roses?
early september by cole. :) that was quite sweet

Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
the feeling right after you finish a run. i am a fuckbag for taking today off.

How was your summer?
lengthy periods of BAD PAINFUL SAD STRESSED punctuated by brief moments of absolute rapture

Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
jesus christ... candace, candaka (yes, "candice" was actually mistaken for "candaka" by a woman working at the continental air counter once),candance, candis, cadence, kansas. and let's not even get started on my last name.

Do you drink tea?
hell no. i drink STRAIGHT GIN. haha

When was the last time you saw a cop?
two nights ago with his lights flashing asking me politely to pull over.

Did you ride in someone else's car today ?

Do you wet the toothbrush before the toothpaste?

Does someone like you?
no, nobody likes me everybody hates me guess i'll go eat worms.

What color is your shirt?

What was the last movie you saw?
fatal attraction. so good!

Do you watch the news daily?
i read the news daily

Do you like to press the coin return button on everything for free money?
no, fuck you

Do you clean when you’re upset?
yes! that's so weird. apparently i'm not the only one!

Where do you want to get married?
in the mormon church

What day of the week did/will your birthday fall on this year?
it was three days ago! a sunday!

Are you wearing socks?
yeah they're black.

Have you ever seen “Walk the Line”?
i laughed. i cried. i pined.

Do you still get easter baskets?

When was the last time it snowed?
geh a few weeks ago?

Are puddles the best part about rain?
rain doesn't have any "best parts". fuck rain. that's how much fuck rain.

What’s the closest pink thing to you?
my sweet lady lioness' pink spike collar. rip lady! i miss your fur.

Do you have plans for tonight?
showering. abs. sleep.

Do you know anybody named Shea?
no. but i've been to shea stadium.

Are sunsets romantic?
no, i think that's lame. they are to be enjoyed individually. it's like one of those rare moments that you can look god right in the eye.

Have any cool scars?
no but i have some cool moles

Can you sing all the RENT songs by heart?
jesus... almost

Have any gay/lesbian/bi friends?
like one. sigh. i wish i were more cutting edge to have cool hair and an ample supply of homosexual friends.

Red or green apples?
they both suck. gala is the only way to go. apples are kind of awful.

Do you know anyone who’s pregnant?
jessica alba? jamie lynn spears? haha. other than that, no, thank the fuck christ.

Can you make brownies without having to look at the directions?
i have never made brownies in my life

Are crayons better than colored pencils?

Do you have hairspray in your hair?
no, it's so greasy right now it can pretty much stand up on its own.

What room are you in right now?
my bedroom

What were you doing at 9:23 this morning?
gettin some head. no just kidding. sleeping.

Have you brushed your teeth yet today?
yes, this morning

When's the last time you ran & why?
AHHHH this question WOULD exist in this survey because i am feeling terrible anxiety and guilt about the fact that i didn't run today! gah. i ran yesterday, OKAY?! because i am on the OSU cross country and track team and i have to. OKAY?!
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the cosmic powers of the universe are steadily working against me [Jan. 17th, 2008|09:40 pm]
...especially every year around january 20th. (my birthday.)

this was going to be a MOST EXCELLENT weekend. first of all my birthday, my GOLDEN birthday no less, (upon which glorious day i will turn 20 years old on the 20th of the month) falls on a sunday, and we have monday off for martin luther king day. observed. i could not have been more thrilled.

i was planning on going home and spending this time with my family in woodinville-- think about it-- i could have gotten a DECENT two and a half days at home. first come the saturday practices, which i actually don't mind, even though it means firstly giving up the idea of going home, and secondly giving up a night of birthday weekend drunken celebration in order to awaken at 8 in the morning to go for an 80 minute long run.

so that was okay. it grounded me in corvallis, but it's probably smarter for me not to be making the drive to wooville and whatnot. so then i find out today that we have a high knee hill workout (where you do high knees up a steep hill for about 350m and then sprint 5x100m at the top, coming out of the hill. multiply this by 5 and there you have our workout) scheduled for 9:45 am on monday morning. followed by an hour long weight session, including pullups, inverted rows, box squats, weighted abs, and copious amounts of pushups.


david planned a party for me on sunday night, complete with keg, a bottle of hypnotic, some bitch beer (cause it's my motherfucking birthday), and hopefully a fairly large gathering of people ready and willing to dote on and adore me on this one very special day of the year. unfortunately now, i will have to leave my own fucking party (after not drinking) at midnight to go to bed so i can wake up for my fucking workout.

the reason for the ideas i expressed in the previous entry that i posted three days ago is becoming very very apparent.
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HEY. if you are in woodinville right now, listen up. [Dec. 29th, 2007|12:30 pm]
[music |broke, konstantine]

kaylin. kelsey. natalie. brett. tristan. trevor, if you still read these. will. elaine. paul. deirdre. ANYBODY who actually still reads livejournal:

i just got back from california and i have less than a week left here and i haven't even seen four of you yet. so let's please please please make it happen.

i don't want to do what i did last year and just NOT see most of you because i spent all my time stuck up justin's ass. that is no longer going on, obviously, and i have free time, and i want to see all of you, a lot, in this next week. so if you're free, please call me.

i think the most important thing i've learned in the past year is to keep the people you care about close to you, and to not let them slip away just because you go to different schools and you're too lazy to pick up the phone and call them, or text them, or even facebook message them for christ's sake.

i miss all of you. i know our lives are growing and changing, and that every time we come home from school we're a little more different and have a little less in common. but we all came from the same place, and battled our way through high school on each other's backs. we used to spend literally every day of the week together, we couldn't get enough of each other-- you guys are my FAMILY, and that is something that i refuse to lose.

i don't know what's going on for new year's yet. i might be going to portland for a few days but i'd kind of rather stay here and force myself on all of you. so if you're free tonight and you've started to realize, as i have recently, how important it is for us to keep in touch and to not shrug off the bonds that took three or more years to solidify, give me a call.
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i should have given you a reason to stay, given you a reason to staaaaaay [Dec. 18th, 2007|12:47 pm]
[music |a lack of color heeeeeere]

i hate when the weather gets like this. it really bums me out.
the rain i can handle, but the continuous pouring rain and the really bland sky where you can't really tell anything apart and it's dark and foggy and all the colors of the world around you just blend together into this really ugly gray, i can not.
i don't feel like reading the news anymore ever. thoroughly reading all the top stories on www.msnbc.com used to be the first thing i would do when i got on the computer, before i even checked my e-mail (probably in an attempt to procrastinate on homework or writing a paper), and now i don't even care anymore. most of the time i can't even bring myself to read an article. i think i got kind of burnt out on current events and the shit that's going on in our world. probably because most of it right now is pretty god damn depressing.
the presidential race of 2008 gave me hope. it's new and different, i'll get to vote this time, there are so many diverse and credible candidates to choose from. i used to follow it vigilantly, i used to know all the newest tidbits about each candidate, republican and democrat, but now i'm getting burnt out on that too. it's just been such a LONG race. it started incredibly early and it's still going to be dragging on for another ten months.
i'll get interested again once the primaries start heating up. at least i hope so.
i don't have any expectations of doing anything productive today. i just had an incredible three days and now i'm exhausted and sad that it's over and he went home. but not too sad. just kind of sluggish and a little mopey; decompressing. but i'm fine. which is a great thing. it's not the end of the world, and i am happy and well-adjusted.
(i have so much to say on this topic and no reason to say it and no one to say it to.)
now, i am going to take a fatty nap. probably a good two to three hours long. and then i am going to go for a run. and then i am going to the gym. and i am not setting expectations on productivity for today any higher than that.
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shit, i am officially the most scatter-brained person i know [Dec. 12th, 2007|11:50 am]
well boys and girls, i forgot to bring my MOTHER FUCKING LAPTOP home from school, so i won't be able to burn your CDs until i go back to school in january, at which point i will be sending them off to all of you at school or at home. i'm really really sorry about this, i wanted it to be a cool thing we could all do for christmas and i was really looking forward to getting some new music and seeing if you guys liked my music but i can't download music on the computer i have here because dave has this like norton anti virus chastity belt on it that doesn't even let me go on the limewire website to TRY to download it (no joke).
anyway, i'm really sorry about this. who the fuck forgets their laptop at school? but i promise the day i get back i will start burning CDs and sending them to you guys.
and call me when you get back home! all of you!
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sultan is staring at me. he won't stop. [Dec. 5th, 2007|09:50 pm]
this fish is insane. b-swan dug him out of a decorative pond at the sultan bakery, what, two and a half years ago? he's travelled extensively--greyhounds, perilous car trips from corvallis to woodinville and back, and forth, and back, and forth (more than once having had his water spilled and ending up in a heap on the floor, flopping around for dear life). he's jumped out of his tank and miraculously landed in my dog's water bowl three feet below where his tank was situated during the night. he's survived some pretty gnarly situations. and he's still creeping around his tank like a shark prowling through the lower depths of his ocean. much like fitty or ted, creepin' through the projects with tinted windows, in a lowered escalade on chrome 22s.


i took dime to the vet today. she has this weird lump on her back, and apparently it's connected to her abdomen and is probably a cancerous tumor. they recommended surgery (of course they did, those jews), but i don't think i could ever forgive myself for shelling out $200 to save a hamster that a) has a 50% chance of dying under anesthesia and b) would be dead of old age within 6 months to a year anyway. and i love her. if i didn't love her, i wouldn't have taken her god damn hamster ass to the god damn vet. and i cried my eyes out, too. it wasn't an easy morning. especially when she jumped off the table onto the hard linoleum floor while i turned my head for HALF A SECOND and started seizing and almost DIED.
turns out she just had a bit of head trauma (she couldn't use the upper half of her body for like ten minutes) but they worked some magic and before long she was as good as new. +lump.
they said she was the most well-behaved, sweetest hamster they've ever had. "obviously very well-acclimated to human handling, clearly has been played with and made friendly", and so forth, by their standards. i was very proud of myself. "you've done a great job with her." i love that little dime bag. i do. i hope i don't have to sit and wait for her to die, and watch her get worse every day, until eventually she stops wanting to run around in her ball and stops stuffing her cheeks with food. i don't know what to do.

it's already incredibly painful to watch. but i hope she goes peacefully.
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finals week [Dec. 2nd, 2007|04:27 pm]
i have no chance of getting a 3.0 this semester. which means i can kiss my car goodbye, which is almost a good thing because it means i'll have a lot more money since i won't be buying gas, but is in essence a terrible terrible thing because i won't be able to drive to the barn to ride my horse and i'll have to bike/walk everywhere i go. in the fucking rain.

also, i am very likely to fail the class that exemplifies my major. i currently have a C in it and am for certain FUCKED for the final.

blow me.
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hm, fuck you. [Nov. 29th, 2007|08:42 pm]
[mood |butt hurt and pissed off]

PLEASE, my two dearest roommates and teammates, please come home with your craft supplies and your hot glue guns and your little christmas sweaters and your ribbons and bows and bells and reindeer adornments and chatter excitedly about the sweater you made for the sweater party you're going to tonight.
in the hallway, in front of two of your other roommates who apparently weren't invited.
and then, when one of them inquires as to your whereabouts this evening, please explain as briefly and nonchalantly as possible the "sweet" party you're going to and then ask, with a fake politeness that stings so bad i will wish you hadn't asked at all, and clearly hoping that i would not say yes, "would you like to come?"
just TWIST the fucking knife as you slide it in.
nothing pisses me off more than NOT being invited to things like that, especially when they were invited by people on our cross country team. the team which i, too, am a member of.
and on top of that, i cannot stand when people dangle their imminently exciting little night of fun and drunken splendor in front of your nose hoping you'd get a whiff and maybe be jealous.
these are the people that i swore to god i would never deal with again after high school.
go fuck yourself. hard.
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get your hair cut [Nov. 20th, 2007|04:05 pm]
i am sitting in the gill computer lab bored and i really have nothing to do except go for a run, which i do not want to and may not do, so i am going to do this instead. plus it's warmer here then at home, and my computer is still not functioning, so you, dear reader (should you exist), are going to be treated to a bit of an update. assuming you want one.

we had a kegger at our house on saturday and while it was quite successful, i got way too drunk and threw up all over my sink. i haven't thrown up in a year, not since the throw down at my house on last thanksgiving break. apparently nobody except david and my roommates knew that i got sick though, and according to everyone else i was very clearly drunk but managed to NOT make a douche out of myself, so that's encouraging. i did pee in our front yard several times though. and threw up all over my bed. that is the last time that i drink bacardi and beer after going for a long run and not eating all day.

i think i want to cut all my hair off and reacquaint myself with side bangs. i also think i should lighten my hair soon (not that i have the money to do it, but dave hates my hair so much as it is right now that he just might be willing to shell out some cash for me to get it lightened) because it's quite dark and it just looks wrong. i do secretly like it though. ho hum. i am sure i shall conform to the color that everyone else thinks is best eventually.

my chin is relentlessly breaking out and i can't even catch up with it. also i got pimples on my cheeks last week, which has never before happened. sizzle sizzle.

i have $2 in my bank account. i'm not even complaining. i think it's pretty fucking amazing. (you pooped in the fridge? and ate the whole wheel of cheese? i'm not even mad, that's amazing.)

i might apply to be on the staff of our daily campus newspaper. probably not though, because while i am incredible lazy, i am smart enough to know that i could not, would not even try, to take on another scholastic task. especially one that requires daily attention.

something near me, possibly on me, smells funny.

OH, i come home tomorrow. i have to run when i get home because if i take today off then i can't take tomorrow off so if any of you want to get together for a little evening runski (i can't leave here tomorrow til 11am and i probably won't be home til 5 or 6pm depending on traffic), i would dig it. so let a girl know.

and, i won't be here on saturday of break, which is the gayest shit i've ever encountered, because my parents bought tickets to go see billy joel at the portland rose garden. on one hand, billy joel COOL! but i actually don't really give two shits about the piano man, and would much rather spend that time in woodinville, so on the other hand, fuck me.

have a pleasant and surprising night. kiss kiss.
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i love my dictionary and i love the indented boooorderr [Nov. 19th, 2007|12:48 am]
so my computer broke last tuesday and one of my roommate's is staying with her boyfriend tonight so i decided to sneak onto her computer to check my e-mail for the first time in several days and i couldn't resist getting on livejournal and posting about my computadora troubles and browsing the friends page.
sick, no?
oh well. see you all soon, i hope.
KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg lolz!
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